“There was no violence, no demand for dowry, no cruel in-laws, no negligence, no financial reasons, but no love either. We had no apparent reason to separate, neither was there any reason to stay together. We both found love in other streams of life, and we mutually decided to part ways.”
This was said to us by a young couple in mid-thirties, seeking mutual consent divorce and settlement of child custody, in the busy and bustling Delhi. They did not want to go for marriage counseling and work on the relationship but were determined to seek divorce and separation.
“The point is that we receive a number of cases a Month where couples seek a mutual divorce, with the only reason being that they have lost their love and found it elsewhere, in other people. The mutual respect they have for is laudable, considering that they are separating. There is no quarrel, no complaints, no demands, they have parted emotionally and only need a legal sanction”.
- Srijay, Business Development Executive, Legal Resolved
We see a new emerging trend wherein divorce is sought by couple who simply get tired of living with each other, and explore ways to bring love in life from other people, often leading to instances of infidelity and adultery. The catch is that both partners reach an amicable agreement between them and just need a lawyer to put it officially on paper. They do not complain or go for long drawn procedures in a contested divorce, no protracted false allegations, no dragging of entire family into false 498-A cases to inflict torture, no cooked up adultery stories against each other, but decide to separate peacefully. Though the rates of divorce have gone up, the settlement becomes easy because they do not play tug of war with the assets or their children; they reach terms for maintenance, alimony and child custody.
Though the rates of adultery and infidelity have shot up, a considerable number of cases are solely due to this and there is no violence or cruelty on the part of either party, and they do not level accusations or demands against each other. It is a contrast to the conventional divorce scenario where you find them unable to stand each other and looking for ways to make their side of the case stronger. We cannot judge anyone, and I find these young couples more sorted and thoughtful than the conventionally intelligent older generation that usually had their lawyers spice up their side of the divorce petition to manipulate maintenance and alimony, and seek child custody. Though infidelity and adultery brings on frowns and invites more judgments than a cruel husband or in-laws (which is still regarded normal in atleast some parts of the society), we have seem these couples display more brain and tolerance and practical insight in dealing with life, love and loss. A divorce minus the grudge and courtroom battle and ego and all the rest of the negativity is less of a worry than those women and men who silently suffer the partner’s physical/emotional torture and live with it for the sake of family and society.
These are rather just examples of two sane people, who ended up with the wrong partner and could not make it work together, but are practical in dealing with the truth and retain their mutual respect, able to think from the other person’s perspective. One wrong step does not end your life, and the moment you decide to correct and move on is the moment you take control and change your life.